How Do You Cope With Culture Shock?

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I've been an expat for one and a half years now, and had never before sat down to clear my thoughts and feelings on living in Switzerland. It's not my first time abroad. However, its the first time that I left my country without knowing when I'd be going back. I didn't care about not knowing one single sole in the whole country, nor did I care about my lack of french knowledge. I hardly blinked when it came to leave the comfortable familiarity behind and dive into the unknown. I was going to conquer the World (or at least, Switzerland). 

But my thoughts on working in a foreign country have changed over time. 

Contrary to what I thought when I knew I was moving, culture shock is not only about different social norms or exotic food, which you can usually prepare for before moving, which I did. I had already worked six months in Zürich a couple of years before and had learned about many swiss standards - I learned how to eat fondue, how to greet co-workers in swiss german and where not to park my bike in the building (this one I learned it the hard way). Culture shock continues long after becoming familiar with your new life. Experts like to classify this identity crisis into four phases. 

1) Honeymoon

Fairy Tale Sunset in Lausanne, Switzerland

The Honeymoon phase is full of excitement and euphoria. You feel you can grab the World in your hands and do whatever you want. Every day is a new adventure - new faces, a different restaurant, a hidden shop, a cute small side street with a boulangerie selling the best baguettes you have ever tried. The public transport is reliable, the city is peaceful, clean and safe and people are kind and respectful. 

You smile while you walk. Life is good. 

2) Frustration

"Careful not to fall down the mountain" Sign, in Switzerland

But honeymoons don't last forever. You start to realize that there are actually less than 5 bars where you can go to  - either because of the crowds or because of the prices. Its the forth time you try asking for a glass of water with your coffee and you receive an arrogant look from the waiter. Maybe even a clueless arrogant look - you're wrong pronunciation bothers them, and having to repeat the same word 10 times (when you know there's nothing even similar that it could be mistaken with) bothers you. You go to a hairdresser and come out with a messy cut and completely broke. Every saturday feels like a monday - you have to wake up early to do all the shopping for the next 6 days, as you will have no time to do so during weekdays. 

Basically, this is the time when you get familiar with the flaws of living abroad: you don't understand locals' social norms, you get laughed at because of your pronunciation. You feel disillusion, frustration and anger. You blame all your mishaps to the culture and people in your new home country. At this point, you feel alone and misunderstood and would sell your organs to go back home (figuratively, of course). 

3) Understanding

Filet de Perche with sauce tartare, a speciality from Lac Leman

After a while of closing yourself into a bubble, things start to get better - You're adjusting to the new culture. Things that used to annoy you during the second phase, now are insignificant or can even be laughed at. You've adjusted your meals to the local timing (well, almost, I mean, sorry but a spaniard will never have dinner at 6:30pm) and are even trying out some new activities that are key in the new country, such as hiking, skiing and snowboarding. You have set up a routine, and feel comfortable with it. 

You understand the cultural differences with your home country and are learning how to deal with them. 

I believe I've passed the second phase (although frustration comes back eventually when I have to cope with a new shock). I've developed a routine for saturdays, that gives me enough time (and flexibility) to deal with the weekly food shopping. And in case I run out of milk, I know where I can buy some last minute. I've also realized that there's so much more outside my city that is just a short bus, train or plane ride away. It's really easy to keep on seeing new faces and different places whenever you get bored of it. I guess that's one big advantage of Switzerland. 

4) Acclimatation

Sunset over Lac Leman, Switzerland

Although I have adopted some local habits and am adjusting to the new culture, I still don't feel that I belong here - I feel like a foreigner. Part of it may be because of my ridiculous french skills that don't really take me any far. But there's much more to it than the language barrier. I feel that I don't have something really settled. My family is a couple of thousand kms away and my best friends are spread across Europe, too. I do know people that I consider friends, but most of them come and go - as most expats do. I guess the idea would be to start making local friends, which would only truly happen if I was fluent in french, and not only talk about where I come from and what I want to buy in the supermarket. 

There's still some hard work to do. 

Have you lived or are you living in a foreign land? If so, in what phase do you think you're at? Any tricks on how to get more involved in the host country's culture? How do you meet locals?